Too nice?
This is another post for the ladies.
I would best be called a serial second dater. I never have any trouble getting a second date, but third dates usually elude me. I definitely have my faults, but I’ve noticed one common thread amongst the girls that I’ve been out with. They’re all too nice.
Being nice is a great trait. If you’re genuinely compassionate, then you will have no problem making friends and sustaining long term emotional relationships. It does come with a downside however. It often prohibits you from being truthful on the chance you might hurt someone’s feelings.
I value honest above almost all other traits. If you’re not honest, any intelligence or external beauty is wasted. I would rather have a woman tell me how she really feels about a subject, including me, than have her make me feel better about my feelings. This leads me to my advice…
If you are not interested in a someone, just tell them. They will ultimately be glad that they didn’t waste valuable time on a fruitless chase.
In 2009 I went on probably close to 25 with a variety of women. Only one of the women was able to tell me, without prompting, that they really weren’t interested. The rest were plenty polite, but not at all honest. They could have had plenty more nights free if they had just been up front about their feelings.
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So, you’re saying that you prefer the “She’s just not that into you” approach. I will say though, most women would have trouble just saying, “Well I’m never going on another date with you!!! Nice of you to ask, though. Check please, waiter/waitress.” We try to be nice, because we are empathetic creatures. I have been on date with lots of people who were interesting to talk to, or fun to be around, but whom I would never want to be in a relationship with. I guess most were only first dates though.